The girl next door
by Zarrian
Summary: When they leave Oz, Fiyero and Elphaba move to the nice quiet country of 'can's ass' to start their new life together. Their peace is disturbed when they meet their new neighbors....Post musical like you have never seen it before!
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This is just a one shot that I am doing right now. It was going to be this long, full-fledged story at one point, but I'm not up to the task. Please keep on R R and Ring! Enjoy, Shiloh **

**P.S: Did someone leave me a review for my other story under the name of 'me()' anonymously? If you did, please tell me, thanks. Also, I used a bit of characterization to a certain little farm girl in this (that's right folks,) that belongs to Grey-eyed-goddess, not me. I don't care that you **

**Claimer: That is right! I own this story! That is why Elphaba doesn't die in the book, nor does Fiyero. And in the musical, to make everyone happy, I made Fiyero a polygamist, so he could have both Glinda and Elphaba! Wait, it doesn't! So I must NOT own wicked! Sorry, my mistake. Maybe I own Harry Potter….**

Fiyero set down the trunk next to his feet. They hadn't had much when they moved to this new foreign land. He wished they had research it more before they had came. Elphaba came up next to him, and put her head on his shoulder. He looked over at the new, unpermanented degreenified Elphaba. He liked her white, but some how, she looked way better green. She had also found a reversal spell for his scarecrowness. The down side of it was the fact he nor Elphaba could go anywhere after dark, because they would turn back to their original state after night fell.

He sat his head on top of her's in a rather uncomfortable fashion. They simultaneously sighed. They both found this funny, and burst out laughing. They looked at their new home and smiled. It wasn't much, but they'd do.

They had just moved into a small little house in a new land called 'Can's ass,' or something like that. Their neighbors were these slightly old farmers. It was quite country, perfect for a big city Vinkus prince and his new wife. They entered the house, excited and eager to get a move on their new and improved life.

* * *

After they became settled in, the new neighbors came by. The woman was old, and missing half her teeth. She smiled though, and held a container filled with cookies, and jello-(that was hard as a rock.) The man was just as old, probably older than the woman. He was trying his best to twist a smile on his stern and sun worn face to greet Fiyero and Elphaba. They had a little dog by their side, who was wagging it's tail, and jumping all around Fiyero and Elphie.

"Hello there!" The wife said to them with a smile. "I am Emily, this is my husband, Henry, and this is our dog." There was a tug on the back of her shirt from someone behind her. "Oh, last, but not… least, our niece, Dorothy." The old couple split apart to reveal a small eleven-year-old girl who was chewing at her hair.

Elphaba and Fiyero's stomach churned. Not her. Both Fiyero and Elphaba had had bad experiences with this eleven-year-old child. She had traveled with Fiyero while he was a scarecrow, he knew for a fact that she never stopped talking, even to her self. The girl had blondily 'melted' Elphaba, and had killed Nessarose.

The girl came up and curtsied to them. She kept her head low, but then she suddenly shot up with a 'waitaminute!' look on her face. "Do I know you?" She asked them rudely.

"Dorothy!" Emily said, putting one hand on Dorothy's mouth, and another on her shoulder. "You must excuse Dorothy. She got caught in a tornado a couple days ago, and hasn't been right since. She keeps on talking about witches and scarecrows…"

Emily shook her head, as Dorothy took her aunt's hand off her own mouth. "But, Auntie Em, it was true!" She said, looking at the woman. Elphaba shuddered at the name. She had heard it probably a thousand times at Dorothy's two-day stay at Kiamo Ko.

Henry looked annoyed at Dorothy's persitant whining that continued at he spoke. "Our house is currently under going construction, so they'll be working on it for a while. Hope ya don't mind."

"Of course not. If you will excuse us-," Fiyero started closing the door.

"Wait! I brought you some of my neighborhood renowned Jello, and my gosh to goodness good cookies! I hope you like them!" The woman called Emily said.

"Yes, um, thanks." Fiyero said, passing the Rubbermaid container to Elphaba. "Okay, well, um, bye!" Fiyero slammed the door in panic, then slammed his back against it, in a irrational fear of them coming back.

"Oh crap." Fiyero said, wide eyed.

"Double crap." Elphaba corrected, going to the trashcan in the kitchen, and threw away the contents of the overused Rubbermaid container.

"What is that little girl doing here? I thought we were done with her! Forever!" Fiyero rubbed his temples as he walked over to the couch, and plopped down on it.

"And those people? That dog, as much as I hate him, on a leash? That is animal oppression! What kind of barbarians are they anyway?"

"The barbarians next door."

So? Do you think I should make this a one shot, or keep on going with it? When you REVIEW me, tell me, k? Any who, hope you liked it. Sorry 'bout the abrupt ending. I had to end it somewhere, so…anyways,

BYE!

Shi!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: I am straight, have a full head of hair, and a female. That REALLY sounds like Gregory Maguire. (You better have caught the sarcasm there.)**

Fiyero made the last adjustments to the highly romantic table. One candle, lit, then the other, there, done. The romantic table was finished. Rose petals accessorized the entire house, from the front door, to the table, to the bedroom, all-leading from one place to the other. Candles glowed lighting the house, all reflecting dancing light, the slowly crawled out light to every place. The table was set for two. The centerpiece a glass blow filled with floating candles and rose petals. With the help of the now setting sun, the house was a romantically dimmed light. He smiled with pleasure at his masterpiece. This would knock Elphaba's socks off.

He heard the door open with a light creak. "Fiyer-oh my Oz." He heard come from the living room. He smiled, and then ran to the kitchen conveniently placed next to the dining room. The steak was perfect, as was the pasta and salad. He set the entire dinner on a platter and took it to the dining room, where Elphaba stood, bewildered.

"Hello." He said to her in the smoothest way possible.

"Hello. Did you-?" She stopped. She had tears in her eyes as she looked at Fiyero. He was dressed in a black suit with a lime green shirt and tie, which was under a blue apron. He was wearing these cute little oven mitts that had little flowers all over them. She couldn't believe it.

She looked at the gorgeous table. The centerpiece greatly complemented the crystal see through table. The candles wavered and tangoed amongst many red rose petals. It was stunning.

Tears began falling from her eyes. She was very flustered from a full day of job-hunting, and her hair strayed and statically jumped from her head. She was sweaty and gross, and didn't look quite as dashing as Fiyero. "I am not dressed for this." She said, diamond blue tears dripping from her eyes.

Fiyero laughed. "I do all this, and that is what I get? 'I'm not dressed for this?'"

"Well, your all nice looking and I am- blah!" She said, starting to feel stupid.

"I just happened to take care of that. Close your eyes, and follow me."

He carefully took her upstairs, and in to the guest bathroom. "You can open your eyes." The bathroom was just as spectacular as the rest of the house. It was cozily set up with candles, and in an already drawn up bath, sat floating rose petals.

"My Oz, where'd you get all the rose-,"

"Don't mind that. It's not important. All that is important is this."

Elphaba was crying again. "Oh yeah, I forgot to show you what you will be wearing, compliments of my new boss…"

"You got a job Yero?" Elphaba said excitingly.

"Yes, surprisingly enough. Now, your dress." He pulled a white box out from under the sink. He set it on the counter, and opened it.

Inside was a striking black dress. Simple, yet elegant, beautiful, yet humble. "Oh Yero! It's- wonderful!" She said for lack of better word.

"I know, isn't it? Now, you get all this time to yourself. Enjoy…"

He waved to her as he exited the dimmed bathroom. She undressed her self, and slipped into the bathtub. The hot water rose up in steamy spirals, and with the steam rose her stress. She closed her eyes, and felt all her troubles float up off her chest with peace and comfort coming in. This, was brilliant.

She took a long breath. After the bath lost its warmth, she got out, blow-dried and curled the ends of her hair, and put on the little black dress. She took a look in the mirror. She felt…pretty.

She walked down the stairs, where Fiyero awaited her with a bouquet of poppies. "Oh, my favorite! Thank you!" She pecked him on the cheek, as she looked at the little orange flowers. He took her hand and led her to the table. He pulled the chair out for her, and sat her down. He poured her a glass of blood red wine. He served her up some food, and then sat down. "So…"

"It's great Fiyero! I can't believe you did this!"

"I know… it's good for me too you know."

"Oh, in what way?"

"I believe you know…"

" Do I?"

"Do you?"

Fiyero laughed. "We sound like feffing secret agents." They both laughed at this. Elphaba had never had Fiyero's cooking before, and was slightly afraid. She cut her steak, and carefully chewed it.

"Well?"

"Oh my gash! I did knaw you could cook like fist!" She said through a mouthful of steak. He laughed.

"Cooking is my specialty."

The small couple like talk continued through out dinner. Elphaba was amazed. She didn't know Fiyero could do this.

"Do you want dessert?" Fiyero asked after she was done with dinner.

"Do you want _not _to have dessert?" Elphaba said, circling her empty plate with her fork.

Fiyero was at first insulted, but found the meaning behind her words.

He grabbed her hand and they climb up the stairs like excited school children. There was a 'surprising' change in the rose petals on the bed. They were now pink, white, AND red. (A/N: You are pathetic if you didn't catch the sarcasm there.)

Fiyero was the first to sit down on the bed. Elphaba straddled his lap, and they passionately embraced. They both began to be topless. Then shortly following, pantsless. They were on the road to 'underwareless'…

When the doorbell rang.

Elphaba got up from her position on top of Fiyero, pulled on a robe, and answered the door.

"What?" She snapped as she swung it open.

"Hi Mrs. Tiggular!" Oh no. It was that Dorothy girl again.

"What do you want?" she said rather impatiently.

"I was playing Frisbee with my dog, Toto," Elphaba scoffed under her breath. She hated that dog. "…And I accidentally threw it in to your yard. Could I go get it?"

"Isn't it past your bed time?" Elphaba asked angstily.

"No…it's only 7:30…" Dorothy said with a confused look on her face.

"Sure, whatever." Elphaba let her past, and out the back door, and in to the back yard. It was an old cornfield. Fiyero wouldn't even go out the back door, for some strange reason, and sometimes didn't even go in to the backyard. Elphaba thought that it may have been some 'I am a wounded man, and I don't want to admit it, so I won't' thing.

She took over a half an hour to find the Frisbee.

Dorothy came in, and looked around. "Ooo, fancy schamcy. Did you have a party here or something? Ooo, roses!" She ran to the table, and started playing with the petals.

"Fiyero and I were going to bed when you came, so if you don't mind-!"

"Oh my goodness! You have monopoly! I love that game!"  
"I need you to lea-,"

"Can we play it?" Dorothy said jumping up and down.

"No. Now please-,"

She ran in to the kitchen as Elphaba grabbed after her to 'direct' her to the door. "Oh goodness! Brownies!" Elphaba ran into the kitchen. She saw two brownies, cut into heart shapes. She figured that this was the dessert that she and Fiyero skipped.

Dorothy stuffed it into her mouth. "Hmmm…bron-ie…" Dorothy said, her mouth full of brownie.

"I want you to-,"

"Hm…" Dorothy waddled out of the kitchen and in to the living room. She plopped on the couch that faced the fireplace. "Do yo- havvve uh T.Fee?" She said as she crammed the other brownie in her mouth.

"A what?"

She swallowed. "You know, a television?"

"No, now please-,"

"You should get one."

"I will, now-,"

"Oh! Look at the time! My Auntie Em is expecting me. Bye!"

She grabbed her Frisbee, and walked out the door.

-

**TBC**

**So? What'd you think? We are going to get what happens next later. Bye,**

**Shi **


	3. Chapter 3

Elphaba reentered the room. Fiyero had made it his duty to finish undressing himself. He gave her a sexy 'bedroom' smile, with his famous 'bedroom' eyes. He propped himself up on his forearm as he winked at her. She returned the smile as she took off her robe, having it fall to the floor among their other abandoned clothes. She crawled on all fours coming up to him on the bed.

"Where were we?" He asked as she once again straddled his waist.

"Oh, I think right about, _here_." She kissed his chest and continued kissing all the way down to his waist. Fiyero just sat there, waiting for the real action to begin. He pulled her up to his lips, and it didn't take long for them to get going, until….

DINGDONG!!!! DING DONG!!! The doorbell once again rang. Fiyero and Elphaba ignored it, a little too busy to be answering doorbells. It stopped for a second, as if the person gave up. Then, …

DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DINGDONG!! It rang repeatedly. Elphaba growled at the unhearing doorbell, not wanting to get up. Fiyero kissed her collarbone as she moaned, "WE'RE BUSY!' at the door.

The people out side were consistent. DINGDONG DINGDONG DINGDONG! The bell repeated so fast; it didn't have time to put commas in between. Elphaba waved behind her as she kissed, as if it would make them go away. Whoever that was out side, would not rest. DINGDONG DINGDONG DINGDONG!!! Elphaba's stomach burned. It reminded her of that idiotic song the munchkins sang at her sister's death.

"AARGGGHHHH!!!!" Elphaba tried to get up, but Fiyero would not let her. Every time she tried, he'd pull her closer, persistently kissing her. After a couple attempts she kicked him, and yelled, "LET ME GO, YOU SEX ADICT!!!!"

He pulled back and put his hands up as if he was being arrested. "Gosh, you should have just asked!"

Elphaba shot him a mean look and got up to look out the window, placed right above the door. She didn't bother putting on a robe. "Ah, Shiz, it's that stupid little brat and her Aunt! What do they want at this hour?" The Aunt's head was cocked sideways. She must have heard Elphaba yell at Fiyero.

"Okay, come on let's answer the door." Fiyero sighed as he got up to put on a robe.

As they Jogged down the stairs, "Auntie Em' managed to ring several times before they got down there. For a minute, Elphaba thought of disabling the doorbell. She decided against it. Them knocking wouldn't be a little bundle of fun either.

Elphaba swung the door open, Fiyero standing at her side with his hand on her shoulder. "WHAT?" Elphaba snapped.

"Oh, I am sorry," Emily said with a sickly sweet smile, "Did we wake you?" She again cocked her head with the question.

"_Only a little_," Elphaba growled.

"Please forgive us then! I just came over here to give you this…" She threw out her Rubbermaid carrying hands. The container was orange, and smelled heavily of butter. "I cooked a loaf of bread today, and I thought you'd like some."

"Oh, that is okay," Elphaba lied, "Fiyero and I are allergic to wheat."

Emily's smile continued. "That is good then, because I didn't use wheat! I used Rye!" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Henry gets a little_ gassy _when I use wheatDon't tell him I told you that!" She giggled.

Elphaba couldn't wriggle her way out of this one. "Oh. Thanks then." She returned a rather sweet yet fake, smile.

"How'd you like the cookies I sent you?"

"Oh, they were just cookielicious!" Fiyero flat out lied blondily. She smacked him on the arm so Emily and niece couldn't see.

"And the Jello?" Emily said. Elphaba and Fiyero looked at each other.

"Oh, um…it was great…" Elphaba said.

"Good! Now there was something that I wanted to ask you. You see, I and Henry-,"

"Henry and I." Elphaba corrected. She hated people that didn't use proper grammar. And that had small nieces that dropped in and killed little sisters.

"Yes, Henry and_ I_, business with the house every day, and we won't be home for about two hours when Dorothy gets home from school. You see, we decided that our old house was too beat up by the tornado-,"

"And falling on the Wicked Witch of the East, whom everyone hated and demised, except the Wicked Witch of the West of course. Did you know they were sisters?"

"Dorothy!" Emily pronounced every letter of the cursed name. Elphaba's stomach with hateful acid at Dorothy's politically incorrect error. That little sister killer- "You must excuse Dorothy, this Kansas wind must be driving her a little-" she circled her finger around her ear to motion crazy to Elphaba and Fiyero. Didn't they know it. "We may move soon. Anyways, we, (Henry and I) were wondering if you could watch her after school. We worry about our precious little Dorothy!"

Elphaba and Fiyero looked at each other and simultaneously said, "No." They slammed the door. Who cared about neighborliness? They excitedly ran up the stairs, when….

DINGDONG DINGDONG DING DONG!!! They didn't want to, but they guessed they had to.

"Yesss?" Elphaba asked as she once again opened the door.

"You really must get that door fixed. People might think that you were rude, and slammed the door on them." Emily said naively. "I am sure Henry could-,"

"That's fine, Fiyero will do it." Elphaba answered with a phony smile.

"Yeah, I'll do it." Fiyero said proudly, puffing out his chest. Elphaba hit him once again on the arm. "Owww…" He whispered. "Shh." She replied.

"Anyway, are you sure? I'll pay per hour…"

"How much?:" Fiyero wisely dodged Elphaba's secretive smack, but could not win. SMACK! "Stopit!" Fiyero wined, (rather gaily, I might add.)

"Is twenty per hour too low?" Emily asked with a bittersweet smile. Fiyero and Elphaba for the millionth time snuck a glance at each other.

"We'll think about it." They both said concurrently.

"Okay! Good night!" Emily said, putting her hand on Dorothy's shoulder.

Fiyero and Elphaba didn't bother saying good night as they all at once slammed the door, and ran up stairs. Half way up them- DINGDONG!!!

Elphaba and Fiyero huffed as they once more ran down the stairs.

"YES!!" Elphaba and Fiyero snapped as they once more swung open the door.

"You really must have that door looked at. Anyway, I just wanted to say good night again. Goodnight!" She waved with a grin. Elphaba noticed she had several missing teeth, and a couple so rotten, they might as well been missing.

"Goodni-ght!' Elphaba sang in a singsong voice as she slowly closed the door, so she would know that this WASN'T a mistake.

They had barely left the door when- DING DONG! The ding-dong of doom. Elphaba angstily reopened the door.

"What now?" She wined.

"Here, we found this on your door. We forgot to give it to you. Here you go." She handed Elphaba a neon orange paper, that Elphaba simply crumpled in frustration in her hand.

"Thanks." She didn't bother to look at it as she slammed the door for the umpteenth time.

They left once more and once again it came. The cursed doorbell.

Elphaba didn't bother. "You get it."

"Okay." Fiyero said as he walked to the door. "Yes?" He sweetly asked as he opened it.

"I forgot to say goodnight last time." Emily said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Fiyero said as he softly closed the door. Before it had even closed- DING DONG!

"WHAT?!" Fiyero was generally a patient person, but this was enough.

"I didn't say goodnight to Elphaba."

"Yes, of course. Elphaba…."

"What?" She said, walking over to the door.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Emily."

For the final time they closed the door.

Once more they entered the bedroom, and dropped their robes. As they got into bed, Elphaba read the bright orange paper crumpled in her hand.

It read:

**DEAR MRS. And MR. TIGGULAR,**

**It has come to our attention that we have not yet received any down payment or mortgage on your new home. If it is not paid before: 5/14/07 we will have to evict you. **

**Have a fabulous day,**

**Coldwell and Banker**

Elphaba's jaw dropped. She had forgotten about that down payment. Did they really have to evict them? (A/N: Sorry, don't pay a mortgage, don't know how it works. What is a girl still living with her parents have to do?)

"Fiyero, look at this." Fiyero had been getting ready, again, and sat up.

"What is it?" He looked it over. "Oh." He lay back down, this time on his stomach. "Shiz." The pillow muffled his voice. "I have been worried about this."

"Ah, let's forget about it. We'll worry about it in the morning." She said, lying next to him, beginning to wrap her leg around his.

"No, not tonight, Elphaba." His mood had changed very suddenly. He took a deep sigh as he turn over and looked at the North wall.

"Why? What is wrong with you? It isn't like you to not wanna-,"

"No. I was worried this would happen. I knew I wouldn't be able to…"

"Able to… what do you mean, Yero?" Elphaba asked. It wasn't like Fiyero to…_think_.

He sighed once more. "I was worried I wouldn't be able to take care of you." He didn't want to look at her. (His shame matched his sexiness.) (Just kidding.)  
"Of course you can Fiyero! Just because right now you can't…"

"Not helping. I am just worried I can't take care of you." He didn't dare look at her now.

"Come on. Tomorrow will be better. I hate to say it, but we'll have to take care of that little brat. As long as she doesn't bring her dog, Tutu."

At first Fiyero hesitated. "Okay." He turned around and began to kiss Elphaba again.

"Stop." Elphaba said.

"What?" Fiyero asked.

"Not tonight."

"Why?"

"The fire is out, and it's never gonna start. Right now." She answered, turning to the south.

"No day but today. I can't control-," Fiyero started.

Elphaba shot him a mean look, then looked up, to the ceiling, "He doesn't see…"

"My manly feelings…"

"What?"

"Kiss me, it's beginning to snow."

"It is?" Elphaba was confused.

"No. I don't know what happened now. Hey Elphaba…."

"What?" She said, really wanting to go to sleep.

"In Oz, why did everyone break out singing?"

"I don't know. It is fun, I guess."

"Oh. Night."


	4. Chapter 4

It was hot. Very hot. And Dorothy wasn't helping. With plenty of complaints throughout the afternoon, including, 'I am hungry,' 'it's hot,' 'It smells in here,' and 'You are weird,' Elphaba was about ready to smack Dorothy to the moon.

"I am still hungry." Dorothy whined as she finished the cookie, plenty of crumbs left lazily on her checkered blue and white pinafore. Elphaba wrinkled her nose in disgust as she fanned her self with the day's newspaper, ignoring Dorothy's annoying pleas.

"That is nice." Elphaba said. She was about ready to strip her self of her already exposing clothes, a pair of Fiyero's boxers and bright pink halter-top, because of the heat, but refrained from doing so, as she would be arrested for inappropriate exposure in front of a child.

"I am bored." Dorothy added for her list of complaints.

"Aren't you supposed to be taking a nap, or something?".

Dorothy gave her a look of strange disgust. "Why would I take a nap? That's for little kids."

Elphaba almost said 'Well, aren't you a little kid?' but abstained as Dorothy said "I am bored,' again.

"If you are so bored, why don't you mop the kitchen?" Elphaba said as she spread her self out even farther on the couch.

Dorothy's eyes got so large; Elphaba thought they would pop right out of her sockets

"Can I?" Dorothy said excitedly. Elphaba turned to give her a questionable look.

"Yea. Go ahead."

Dorothy jumped off the couch and ran to the kitchen. Elphaba scoffed at the strange child, and then grabbed her book off the coffee table. She opened it to her page, and read the first word of the chapter. _The_- "ELPHABA!!!"

Elphaba reluctantly got up and walked to the kitchen. "Yeess?" Elphaba said as she poked her head in the door.

" Hi." Dorothy said.

Elphaba blinked at Dorothy, and then left. Elphaba yawned as the door closed behind her.

"Wait!" Dorothy called.

"WH- I mean, what?" Elphaba answered as she put her head back in the door.

"I need a mop." Elphaba sighed as she walked to a cabinet in which she kept cleaning supplies.

"Here." Elphaba shoved the mop into Dorothy's hands, and stomped out the kitchen. She plopped on the couch and continued reading. _The sesquipedalian neologist's lexicon_- "Elphaba! I need a bucket!" Dorothy yelled once more from the kitchen.

"Okay!" Elphaba once more got up to get a bucket for Dorothy before once again returning to the couch with her book. _The sesquipedalian neologist's lexicon and it's amphilingual bystander is a another cyptomorphic example to America's fast falling youth… _Elphaba wondered why she was reading this. When she had gotten it at the library, it _seemed _interesting.

She nodded off slightly, but was woken by Dorothy, who was hovering closely to her face. "AH! What do you want?"

"Spic and span."

Elphaba sighed. "Follow me." Elphaba once more entered the kitchen, and pointed to the cabinet above the sink. "There! While I am up, do you want me to get you water too?"

"No," Dorothy answered, "I got it my self." Dorothy walked to the sink, and tried jumping up to get the small orange bottle above the sink. She grabbed a near by chair and used it to par her height. That was when Elphaba spotted it. The bucket… full of water. _Should I? No Elphaba, that would be…mean. Come on… you know you want to…FINE_! She couldn't resist. She picked up the bucket, and tiptoed toward Dorothy, who still couldn't reach the spic and span. "Elphaba, I can't reac- AHH!!!" It had happened. Elphaba had thrown the bucket on Dorothy. Suddenly, Dorothy's skin sent steam into the air. A sizzling sound occurred as Dorothy shrieked. "Ah! hhh -- you cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh -- what a world -- what a world! Who would have guessed a neighbor like you would melt a little spoiled brat like me! Ahhhh…" Elphaba blinked. Dorothy had melted. Elphaba looked around in total surprise. Dorothy Gale was gone. Just then, Fiyero rushed in.

"Elphaba! I heard the good news! _GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!!! DOROTHY GALE IS DEAD! THE SPOILEST BRAT THERE EVER WAS, ENEMY OF ALL OF US ON GREEN STREET, IS DEAD!!_"

"What? How did you know already?" Elphaba said, still in shock.

"Glinda told me. _LET US BE GLAD, LET US BE GRATEFULLLL!!!_ _Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue, the wicked workings of you-know-who, isn't it nice to know, that good will conquer evil? The truth we all believe'll by and by, Outlive a lie, for you and –"_

"Wait! Did you just hit a high A?"

"Maybeee, but that is not the point-,"

"You could never hit a high A! Remember that one summer with Galinda? You were trying to imitate her, and you couldn't hit a high A if you wanted to…"

"Dang, you figured me out. I'll just have to melt you-"

"What? What the hell is going on?"

Elphaba felt water on her face and woke, startled. "Dorothy!" She had been spraying water on her face with a bottle of filtered water.

"Sorry, I just wanted to wake you up. I finished the kitchen."

Elphaba sat up. "Oh, um, your Aunt should be here soon-" with that, the doorbell rang. "Here she is."

Elphaba got up and walked to the door. Auntie Em was standing out side with a smile.

"Hello. Is Dorothy here?"

"Of course. DOROTHY!"

Dorothy had already grabbed her bag and walked past Elphaba to the still hot night.

"Go ahead Dorothy." Auntie Em said as she patted Dorothy on the back, and motioned for her to go home. When Dorothy was out of ear range, Emily said, "I am glad you are doing this for Henry and I…"

_I am not doing it for you… _Elphaba thought as she nodded and smiled. " And I just wanted to tell you that Saturday is the last day you will have to take care of her. We are getting a trailer, for the sake of time."

"Oh… that's good to know." Elphaba said with a hardly noticeable sarcasm in her voice.

"And I just wanted you to take care of her till the house is settled. You know, Dorothy can get in the way some times." Oh, don't I know it, Elphaba thought.

"Okay… we'll do that-" Elphaba said. As she said that, Fiyero walked on to the porch and entered.

"Hello, Emily." Fiyero said bitterly. He obviously hadn't gotten over last night.

"Hello, Fiyaro. Good bye, Elphaba."

Elphaba closed the door quietly, as Fiyero set down his suitcase and loosened his tie.

"So…" Fiyero said as he walked in to the kitchen after Elphaba.

"Soo…what?" Elphaba said as she began making dinner.

"How did today go?" he asked as he walked to the fridge and got out a beer.

"Good, I guess. For fifty dollars an hour, I can't complain." Elphaba supposed as she placed a fry pan on the stove.

"You can complain to me." Elphaba felt Fiyero's arms snake around her waist. He kissed from her neck all the way to her cheek.

"Well, she was okay. For her. Oh, and I had her mop the kitchen."

"It looks good." He continued kissing her to her chest.

"You didn't even notice- will you please-?"

Fiyero stopped at her cleavage. With out bringing himself up, he looked up at her. "What?" his voice was muffled.

"We can't do this here!" Elphaba said as she pushed him off.

"And who said?" Fiyero said looking at her halter top with longing.

"The laws of nature." Elphaba answered as she ignored Fiyero's gaze and stirred the food.

"Who are we talking about here? I am Fiyero Tiggular! I am the sex king!" He pounded his chest like a gorilla and roared. Elphaba couldn't help but giggle as Fiyero turned off the burner, picked her up, and took her to the table. He set her down softly, and pinned her so she couldn't move. She did a silly laugh as Fiyero crawled on her and began to unbutton her shirt.

"Talk- about- sex- in- the- kitchen…" Fiyero said between kisses.

"Well- Mr.- King- of- sex… this- would- be- more enjoyable- if-we- could- do this- in the bedroom." Elphaba answered like wise.

With that, Fiyero once again picked her up, and carried her off.


	5. Chapter 5

"I said that I want to watch sponge bob!!!!" Dorothy's shrieks may have been heard on the moon as she lay on the ground, vigorously pounding it with her fists. Elphaba didn't know what to do. She tried pulling Dorothy off the ground as Dorothy threw her temper tantrum.

"Dorothy, I told you, we don't have a T.V!" Suddenly, Dorothy stopped. She lay on her stomach for a second, her head to the opposite side of Elphaba. She sniffed as she sat up, legs spread apart on the ground. she folded her arms in a small fury.

"What kind of thing is that? Who doesn't have a TV?" Dorothy said, her eyes puffed with extremely fake tears flowing down her red face. Elphaba sat on the edge of the couch, in her attempt to consul Dorothy.

"We can't watch sponge bob if we don't have a-" Elphaba words were interrupted by screams of Dorothy. Elphaba covered her ears as Dorothy's screeches pierce her ears. Dorothy stood up and threw her arms to her side, screaming with all her little brat might. Elphaba breathed deeply as she wondered if anyone would miss Dorothy if she happened to be strangled.

"Please stop! I told you-!" Elphaba's loud words did nothing to calm Dorothy, and eventually Elphaba's words were covered in Dorothy's screams.

"I WANT TO WATCH SPONGE BOBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!" Dorothy yelled with all her possible force. Elphaba's head throbbed heavily. She took as deep a breath as possible, and walked up the stairs to the bathroom to get some Advil. As soon as she opened the medicine cabinet, she saw Dorothy's reflection behind her, the little monster's face red as a person could get. Her voice faltered slightly, but rose up again, erasing Elphaba's hopes. She wondered why the little girl hadn't taken a breath yet, but soon, it was enough for Elphaba. Two could play at this game.

"DOROTHYYYYYY!!!!!" The two female's voices rose together, breaking all possible sound barriers. Miles away they could be heard, and it didn't stop there. A chorus of 'SPONGE BOBBBBBB' and 'DOROTHY' rang through Kansas City, and maybe through Kansas State. Elphaba wondered if Fiyero could hear them as she walked down the stairs, her voice never wavering. Elphaba turned to look at Dorothy at the top of the stairs. She could hear her voice cracking, and Dorothy looked around in panic. There was only so long that you could go with out breathing. Elphaba counted down in her head, _Going, going… GONE!!_ Elphaba's ears and tonsils had a small party as she stopped yelling. Dorothy sat down on the stair on which she stood in defeat, panting as she choose not to look at Elphaba.

"Well, if you will be quiet, I will tell you something. If you show me where to get it, we can go into town, we can get a TV, rent a couple of movies, come back here, and watch them before your aunt comes to get you. Alright?"

"You have a nice car, Mrs. Thropp. I really like it." Dorothy poked the gray roof of the car. Elphaba looked at her in annoyance, wondering how such a little devil could have any form of flattery.

"Thank you. Where are we supposed to go again?" Elphaba said as she pushed the gas. She was still getting used to this 'driving' thing, of which she just barely passed her test. Fiyero had walked that day, graciously leaving Elphaba with the car. Elphaba shivered, wishing she had brought her coat. There had been a strange change in the weather that night, and Elphaba wondered if a certain someone had to get rid of a felon.

"Turn right on east Elm- hey, turn on your signal! Good job, and then pull in to the parking lot on the right."

Elphaba pulled in to a vacant parking lot. The yellow sign said 'BEST BUY' and glowed over the few cars in the parking lot. Elphaba disasterly pulled into the closest parking space with a 'DON'T RUN OVER THE KERB!' from Dorothy. She much preferred her broomstick to the green pile of junk _Toyota_ car she had, as she usually didn't run over kerbs with that.

"How can I help you today, ma'am?" A skinny teenager in a navy shirt and tan pants asked Elphaba as they entered the store. Heat rushed down to Elphaba from the doorway, giving her the chills, shortly following, warmth to the bone.

"I want a small, _small, _cheap TV." Elphaba said, emphasizing the words 'small' and 'cheap.'

"Right this way ma'am."

"Here we have the 56' inch, flat screen, Sony with hi-fi." The boy said brandishing a large Television. Elphaba squinted at the magnetic price tag on the metal holder on which it stood.

"Um… this wouldn't go with our décor." She thought she heard a 'uh-huh,' from the boy, but ignored it as he moved over to a small, black TV."

"This is a Sanyo 18' inch. I think you will find it more to your liking." Elphaba snuck a look at the price tag.

"We'll take this one."

After getting a VCR/DVD player, the service clerk led her to the front to ring her up. Elphaba cringed at the receipt, but it was worth it for Dorothy not to scream.

They next went to the Video store. Dorothy skipped up the kerb, avoiding the water in gutter below. She opened the door, as if she was opening it for Elphaba, but instead went in her self, closing the door on Elphaba nose. Elphaba opened the door again herself as she rubbed her nose, and immediately ran after Dorothy, who was annoying the store clerk.

"Hiyamister, this is my babysitter, Elphaba. Aunt Em says I should call her 'Mrs. Tiggular,' but we both think that is too formal, or at least I think so, she never really told me. My teacher, Mrs. Retaion says that it is disrespectful to call people by their first names, but my Uncle Henry says that Mrs. Retaion is an old coot, don't tell her I told you that. Speaking of old coots, but Auntie Em is getting a new coot for the chickens to match our new trailer. Oh, did I tell you we are getting a new trailer? Well, we are. I think that we should've kept the old one. What's your name, mine is Dorothy. I think that my Aunt was a little silly when she-!" Elphaba clamped her hand over Dorothy's mouth to stop her uncontrollable speech.

"Okay, I think we should leave the nice man alone. Come on Dorothy."

Dorothy ran off to another section of the store while Elphaba looked for a good romantic movie for her, and something for Fiyero. She picked up a movie with a man holding a woman in a wedding dress. She looked at the back and read the summary. _What the hell?_ Elphaba thought as she sat the movie down. Dorothy came running up to her with a bright movie with purple and pink all over, and a green little pony galloping on the front.

"Let's get this one Elphaba!" Dorothy said as she handed Elphaba the vividly fluffy movie.

"Um…" Elphaba looked at the back. No way she was watching a two and a half hour movie about a pony that had to save the tiara of virtue from the evil Grindelia. "I think we should save this one for another time." Elphaba said as she handed the movie back to Dorothy. She smiled, and skipped back to the children's section. Elphaba saw a movie at the top of the rack that she thought Fiyero might like. _I wonder why they have the paper covering the front. Hm… 'Only for seventeen and up…' that is odd. _Elphaba thought as she read the front cover. _The title looks ok. 'Girls gone wild.' Fiyero always liked action flicks. _Elphaba decided to get that one for Fiyero. Just in the rack below she saw an interesting movie. The front was covered in various colors and had eight people in different poses. She read in big block letters 'RENT' on the front. _Might as well_, she thought as she stuck it in her stack.

Dorothy ran to her with another movie. "Let's get this one, Elphaba." Dorothy again pleaded as Elphaba looked at the movie. For some reason, this did not look like a movie appropriate for Dorothy's age.

"Saw three?" Elphaba muttered under her breath as she looked at the back of the movie.

"Yeah! All the kids at school love it!"

"I don't think we should get-!" Dorothy drew her breath and got ready for a temper tantrum. Once again her blood-curdling scream filled the air as every body looked over at Elphaba.

"Oh…um… OKAY!!!!" Elphaba said as the store manger cocked his head.

Dorothy immediately stopped her screams with a smile. "Thank you." She said as she skipped off to get more movies. Elphaba grabbed one or two more and called Dorothy to where she stood.

"Are you ready- ew, Judy Garland!" Dorothy said as she looked at movie to her side.

"Yeah. Let's go."

"HOW IN HEL- I mean, heck- DO YOU WORK THIS THING?!!!" Elphaba exclaimed as the TV once again burst with static. The urge to cuss out everything in the room pushed at her brain, along with Dorothy, who was complaining about when it was going to be done.

"Are you almost finished?" Dorothy bounced on the pads of her foot, holding out her words in a nasal tone. Elphaba was ready to kick the TV, along with a certain unpleasant child.

"No, I am trying. If you are patient, I will get to it. Hold on. AND DON'T- start screaming." Dorothy immediately ended her tantrum and plopped down on the couch rather impatiently. Elphaba ignored the little girl's annoying attributes, as she stuck the red cable in the-, no, that's not right. (A/N: (sings) the signal won't delay, but the cable, there's another way- sorry, couldn't resist.)

"HA! There! I think I did it."

Dorothy immediately sat up. "You did?"

"Yes! Okay, hand me the movie.

"No- don't turn around the corner-!" Elphaba muttered under her breath as she clutched the couch pillow. She bit her right hand nails as her left hand drove into the pillow. The lights flashed upon Dorothy and Elphaba's face as the woman on the screen stupidly opened the door leading to her death.

"Elphaba—we should-!"

"SHHH!!!" Elphaba intensely watched as Dorothy held tighter and tighter to her knees. Panic struck Dorothy's voice, and it seemed to waver and crack.

"But, Elphaba, I think we should turn this of-!"

Elphaba didn't bother give Dorothy a dirty look as the girl lowered her self into a tub of water. The masked man behind her drew nearer, and nearer-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dorothy was first to run up the stairs in fright as the lighting struck out side the window, closely followed by Elphaba. The power had blowed, and the TV had struck out, causing more tension to rise until both Dorothy and Elphaba had had it. They ran into Elphaba's bedroom, and hid under the covers.

"Dorothy," Elphaba instructed, "by the nightstand is a wooden baseball bat. Grab it."

"Okay." Dorothy snuck over and grabbed it. She was tiptoeing back when another bolt of lighting flashed outside the window. Dorothy flew back under the covers.

"Oh my gosh…what if there is someone in the-!" Dorothy started.

"Shh…I hear something." The stairs creaked with weight below. Sure enough, some one was coming up the stairs right that second.

Dorothy may have been the most scared. "Oh god, I am sorry for all the bad things I did, like sic Toto on Mrs. Mullacher's cat, and eating an extra- ow!" Elphaba had elbowed her in the side.

"Shh!" Elphaba hissed as the person came closer. Elphaba swore she could hear some sort of intense song in the back round as the unknown person creaked to Elphaba's side of the bed. Elphaba grabbed the wooden bat from Dorothy as the person lifted up the covers-!

"AHH!!!" A hooded creature lingered over Elphaba. She immedatiely started hitting it with the baseball bat. "Don't- touch-me-or-that-really-annoying-little-girl-got-it?-pervert!"

Dorothy crawled to the side of the bed as the unknown figure cringed back; putting his hand up to protect it's self. It fell to the ground in the corner of the room, before crying "STOP!!!!"

Elphaba did not obey. "Die! Die! Die! DIE!!!" She yelled as she hit the hooded man.

"Elphaba, stop!" To Elphaba's surprise, this was not Dorothy that called this plea, but the hooded man.

"REVEAL YOURSELF!!!"

"Chill Elphie, it's me!" Fiyero lifted down the hood of the jacket he was wearing as he got up from the corner; putting up his hands as if he was being arrested.

Elphaba hesitated. "How do I know it's you?"

"What?" Fiyero said.

"You heard me; 'How do I know it's you?'! You could be an imposter-!"

"Elphaba, you're talking crazy! Of course it's me!"

Elphaba shot him a nasty look. "You would say that, if you are an imposter!"

"No! I would say that because I AM FIYERO!!!"

"Fine; then tell me, what is our wedding anniversary?"

"What? Fae, this is stupid-!"

Elphaba raised the bat. "Answer it!!"

"Fine, October 30!"

"WRONG ANSWER!" Elphaba growled. She began to hit him repeatedly as he once again recoiled into his corner.

"STOP!!!"

Elphaba did so. "Your not Fiyero! Dorothy, call the police!"

"Elphaba, our wedding anniversary is the 30th!" Fiyero said as Dorothy picked up the phone and dialed.

"No it's not! It's the-…the-!"

Fiyero smiled. "It's the what, Elphaba?"

"Whoops." Elphaba realized that he was right. It was the 30th. "Haha… Dorothy… stop dialing…"

Fiyero laughed once more as Elphaba ended the story. "THAT'S why you attacked me? You were watching a scary movie?" Fiyero exploded once again with laughter as Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"It was a scary movie…" Elphaba excused as she set down Fiyero's plate of food where he sat. She sat down on the opposite side as Fiyero became red in the face with laughter. He stopped as he flinched; his side must be hurting.

"Want me to get you some ice?" Elphaba asked gently as Fiyero coughed.

"Yeah… just don't attack me with it!" Fiyero once again chortled, going red in the face.

"Well, you can laugh all you like…" Elphaba yelled to Fiyero from the kitchen. She once again entered, and slammed a bag of frozen peas on the table, "but I am not the one with that ridiculous eye patch."

Fiyero abruptly stopped. He looked down at his feet, and began to slowly eat. "That's not funny." Fiyero said softly as he looked down. "I wouldn't even have this ridiculous eye patch if you hadn't attacked me."

Elphaba snorted. "_Don't tell me_ that you _actually_ got insulted by that."

Fiyero held his head up with his arm as he swirled his fork around in his corn. "Maybe."

Elphaba was now the one laughing. "Now, don't tell me that you are insulted that your own wife beat you up! Fiyero, you can really be stup-!"

"No, it's not that-!"

"Oh yes it is!" Elphaba mocked. "Fiyero got beat up by a girl! Fiyero got beat up by a girl!"

"Shut up." Fiyero said angstily as he looked in to his mashed potatoes with anger.

"Aw… poor baby Fiyero! Wittle Fiyero must have had his wride hurt 'cus Elphaba's too stwong for him!" Elphaba giggled under her breath as Fiyero left the table. "Wait, where are you going?" Elphaba asked as she followed him.

"To bed." He threw down the paper towel he was using on his lap to the ground as he walked up the stairs.

"Hey, I was just having a little fun! You had your laugh, I had mine- it's all good!" Elphaba said as both of them turned the corner in to the bedroom.

"My laugh was funny! Your laugh was mean. And incorrect." Fiyero said as he took off his suit jacket.

"How was it incorrect?" Elphaba wondered what his excuse was going to be.

"Because! I wasn't embarrassed that you beat me up- there was nothing I could do when you have a bat, and all! But- oh never mind." Fiyero walked in to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Tell me." Elphaba asked as she followed him.

"It's just- look at this face! It is waaaayyy too good looking for an eye patch!"

"Well too bad! The doctor says you have to keep it on for a week until it heals up," Elphaba laughed. She hugged him around his shoulders as they both looked into the bath room mirror. "And I don't know about you, but I think we'd have a lot of fun with that eye patch." She said as she turned him around to look at her. " Like you could be a pirate, and I could be your nurse." She giggled as Fiyero seriously considered this. He picked her up as if they were going over the threshold.

"Well, Nurse Tiggular," Fiyero said in a rather fake pirate accent. "Something be wrong with me rudder."

"I am sure we can get you in immediately, Captain Tiggular." Elphaba said in her sexiest voice. She mimed a clipboard. "Yep. Tonight is your lucky night! No appointments planned!" Elphaba slowly unbuttoned her shirt as Fiyero reached the bed.

"Oh, now that me thinks about it, me back end may need a check up too." Fiyero said as he gave her a good look.

"I think the doctor can do."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: This chapter is rated M, just to be safe. There's nothing THAT bad, but I rather not be reported for something stupid. If you choose to skip this chapter, PM me, and I will send you a summary. Rated this way for several condom references, along with man thong references, (LOL), and innuendo. Tanks, Shi, AkA: Zarri**

Fiyero woke up to find Elphaba had already gotten up_. Hm…something smells good_… he thought as he pulled on a pair of P.Js and walked down to the kitchen. As he approached the last step, he expected to hear clinging pots and pans from Elphaba rushing to make him breakfast, but all he heard was the garbage truck as it rumbled loudly out side, picking up the morning trash. _It's quiet…too quiet_… Fiyero thought as he entered the kitchen. There Elphaba sat at the table, quietly chatting with two men.

Elphaba looked up. "Oh! Fiyero! It's you! I wasn't expecting you to be up."

Fiyero stared at the men. "Who-," Fiyero swallowed a nervous laugh. "Who's this?"

Elphaba gulped. "Fiyero, I was meaning to tell you…" She got up and grabbed him by the arm. "You may want to sit down."

"_You're leaving me!_ Why?" Fiyero looked at her, switching his gaze momentarily as he looked at the two men. Their smiles were brighter and straighter than a picket fence, and their muscles greatly exceeded Fiyero's.

"Well, Yero, I just- look, you're great and all, but I am looking for something…more. More masculine, more macho, more…endowed." Elphaba said with a regretful smile.

"But I am! Besides, you said that you never cared about stuff like that!" Fiyero excused.

Elphaba gave him a pitiful smile. "One; no your not. I am sorry to tell you hun, but you're a little on the small side. Two; I used to not care about that stuff, but then I came to Kansas, and realized I can do wwaaaayyy better. I am sorry babe." Elphaba glanced down at her watch. "Oh, come on boys, we're going to miss our plane. Anymore questions, Fiyaro?"

"It's Fiyero. And yes. When did this start?"

"While you were at work." Elphie said as she stood, and gathered her stuff together.

"And why do you need two men?" Fiyero said.

Elphaba did a 'duh' look. "Didn't I tell you? I am becoming a polygamist. Why settle for one man when I can have two?" Elphaba pulled a suitcase out from under the table. "So long, Fiyargo."

"It's Fiyero." Elphaba chained her arm with the other two.

"Come on boys. I am glad I found someone who can support me, physically, and financially." Elphaba looked back on Fiyero for one last time as she left.

Fiyero was in total shock. He only knew one thing to do…

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

He fell through the tile floor, and on to his bed as he woke. He looked next to him, and saw Elphaba, still asleep. It had all been a dream! He looked to his side, and before he knew it,…

"Hello, Mr. Tiggular." Dorothy hovered over ahead.

"AH! What are you doing here?" He asked the little girl as he sat up. He pulled the covers close to his chest, as he was currently clothes-less. He realized that Elphaba still managed to keep the eye patch on, among every thing else.

"My Auntie Em sent me over to get some sugar. I knocked for a while, but then I realized the door was unlocked, so I just came in." _Note to self,_ Fiyero thought, _lock door before going to bed_. His stomach growled, which reminded him that the last few nights, Elphaba and him had been skipping dinner, and going to bed rather unannounced.

"What time is it?" Fiyero squinted at the alarm clock.

"Oh, it's 3:30," Dorothy answered.

"At night?!" Fiyero looked at alarm clock.

"No silly! In the morning." Dorothy's face formed into a puzzled frown. "Gee, Mr. Tiggular, you must have been having one funny dream! You were squirming, and you kept on saying 'Don't leave me!'"

Fiyero felt red flush into his cheeks. "Oh, um-,"

"My Auntie says that people often have dreams about their childhood… did you have a good childhood?" Dorothy asked.

" I guess it was okay. But um-!"

"Ah!" Elphaba had woken up. She pulled the covers to the top of her neck as she shot up. "What are you doing here, Dorothy?"

"I was telling Mr. Tiggular that my Auntie Em wanted some sugar." Dorothy rose up a measuring cup. "We're out."

"Oh, um… go down stairs. I'll be there in a minute." Elphaba waved to Dorothy indicating her leaving.

Dorothy cocked her head. "I'll just wait for you here!" Dorothy announced as she sat in a reclining chair across the room.

Elphaba snuck a glance at Fiyero. "Um…" There was no possible way for Elphaba to get dressed with out Dorothy seeing her naked first. She wondered if Dorothy was smart enough to put together the fact that clothes were strewn carelessly across the floor, and a ripped apart box of Trojan was laying torn on the bedside. Obviously not.

"I have to talk to Fiyero…so if you will please-!"

"That's okay, I won't tell anyone."

Elphaba growled under her breath. "I need to talk to him, _alone_."

Dorothy was still resistant. "I'll keep watch for anyone then."

Elphaba was tired of making excuses. "Fine. If you don't get out, I will tell your Aunt that you had more than one bowl of ice cream yesterday."

Dorothy's eyes got wide, and she did a fake smile. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." She ran out of the room as fast as possible. As soon as Elphaba knew she was gone, she got up, and closed the door.

"I hate that little brat."

Fiyero got up also. "I hate her too. But do you know what I hate even more?" Fiyero asked as he approached.

"What?" Elphaba didn't want to hear any complaining this morning, but she would deal with it for Fiyero's sake. She pulled on a pair of purple P.J.s as Fiyero neared.

"Not being with you." He pulled her close to him and gave her a morning kiss.

All was silent until Elphaba said, "This would be great if one; I had a shirt on and not just pants, two; if you had some clothes on, and three; if you didn't have morning breath."

Fiyero pulled back, and rubbed his teeth with his finger. They didn't stink THAT much. "Hey." He said quietly. "What bit your ass this morning anyway?" Fiyero asked as he walked to the closet.

"Dorothy Gale, that's who. And she took a pretty big chuck of it too. Excuse me." She ran to the bathroom after putting on her shirt. After several minutes, she emerged.

"What?" Fiyero asked as he adjusted his tie.

"I dunno, I haven't been feeling good lately. I might make a Doctor's appointment for tomorrow." Elphaba said as she put on her slippers. "What's today?"

"Um…Wednesday." Fiyero said, pulling on his socks.

"Oh. Why are you getting dressed? It's only 3:40! You probably could get loads more sleep before work." Elphaba asked.

That reminded Fiyero of the dream he had. He wasn't sure what prompted the dream, but he had a feeling. "Oh, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway." He answered. Hell would freeze over before Fiyero would tell Elphie about that dream.

"Okay, but don't cry to me when you fall asleep at work."

**SKIP TO WAAAAAYYYY LATER!!!!**

"…Anyway, after I killed the Wicked Witch of the West, I went back to the wizard. HE told me that he really was a fraud, and couldn't send me back to Kansas. I felt horrible. Can you believe the wizard would do something like that after all the faith I put in him? Anyway…" Dorothy continued rambling about things she didn't know as Elphaba continued reading.

"Eventually, everyone got what they came for, and the two Wicked Witches were dead-!" Dorothy finally finished. The story had been long and annoying, with many errors, but Elphaba had put up with enough.

"Listen Dorothy! How 'bout you go upstairs and do your homework? I am sure your Auntie Em would like it if that's what you did…" Elphaba hinted.

"Okay!" Dorothy ran upstairs with her BARBIE backpack, Toto following her, (because Toto had followed her home that day,) leaving Elphaba to her peace and quiet.

After an hour, Elphaba wondered where Dorothy was, and why she was being so quiet. Elphaba sat down her book, and jogged up the stairs. "Dorothy? Dorothy-…"

Elphaba quietly opened the door to her bedroom, expecting to see Dorothy quietly doing a math equation or something, but opened the door to Dorothy, two condoms on her thumbs.

"Ah! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Elphaba bellowed as she opened the door.

"Oh, hi!" Dorothy said, sitting on the middle on the floor, "I was just playing with your finger puppets!" It was true. Dorothy naively had done her best to draw faces on the round latex, and had stretched them on her finger.

"Dorothy those aren't finger puppets!" Elphaba said, picking up the box on the floor. "Those are-" Now Elphaba understood. Dorothy must not have had 'the talk' yet. It was surprising that Dorothy hadn't heard things from her sixth grade associates. Elphaba counted the number in the box. There were four gone.

"Dorothy! There are four gone! Where did the other two go?" Elphaba asked in a panic.

"Well, they looked like they were edible, so I-"

Elphaba got down on her knees and pumped Dorothy's stomach. "Why-did-you-eat-it?" Elphaba asked between pumps.

"I-didn't!" Dorothy gasped. Elphaba stopped.

"What do you mean, you didn't eat it?"

"I didn't. I fed it to Toto." It was like an orchestra appeared out of nowhere and played 'dun-dun-dun,dunt!!!' in Elphaba's ear.

Elphaba looked over to Toto, who was gagging in the corner. Elphaba looked back to Dorothy, who was now playing with a rather flosslike article of clothing that belonged to Fiyero.

"What are you doing?!" Elphaba once more yelled.

"Playing with this slingshot. It doesn't work very well though. See?" Dorothy flung it into Elphaba's face. Elphie caught it just before it hit her nose, luckily, but was rather flustered.

"That's not a- oh never mind," Elphaba didn't bother explaining. "Either way, it belongs to Fiyero, and he wouldn't like you playing with his…thing." Elphaba threw it into the top drawer of the dresser and returned to Dorothy. Toto was now on his back, conscious, but panting heavily.

"Get in the car." Elphaba demanded as she picked up the Scottish terrier. Dorothy got up, and guiltily went out to the car.

**A/N: Sorry, I just decided to have an Author's note here. I am watching 'The singing Bee' on NBC, and I was just thinking, 'they should make a Broadway version of this.' If they did, I would go. And I would conquer all. Jk, back to story.**

"Elphie!" Fiyero called as he put down his briefcase by the door. "Oh Elphabaaaa!" No reply was heard. This gave him a sick reminder of his dream this morning, and he wondered if the dream was coming true. He walked in to the dining room, expecting to either see dinner on the table, or Elphaba chatting with her new husband, but not expecting her to not be there. He poked his head in the kitchen. "Elphaba?" Nope. Not there. He did see a note on the fridge. _Oh no_, he thought, _this is the note she wrote me to tell me that she moved to Utah, and got married to two other men. Or not_…

The scrawled note said:

_Fiyero,_

_The girl's dog ate a condom. We are at the vet's office. Go there at once. Will explain more later. _

_Elphaba. _

Fiyero sighed as he exited the kitchen, and got in to his car.

**BYE, BYE, YERO**!

"Well Mrs. Tiggular," the doctor said as he exited his office, "Toto should be fine, we pumped his stomach, and he looks in good order. It will be a few more minutes while I write up his prescription, but I wanted to ask you: What was _this_ doing in Toto's stomach?" He held up a saliva-full precaution and cocked his head.

"Um… it's a long story." Elphaba smiled weakly and she too tilted her head.

The doctor gave her a cautioned look, and returned in to the office. Elphaba sat back down, embarrassed.

"Sorry I am late." Fiyero came in and sat next to her. "I didn't find the note for a while."

"It's fine." Elphaba said, waving it off.

Fiyero's face dropped in a puzzled look. "What did you mean by, 'the dog ate a condom'?" Yero asked, rather stupidly. All the heads in the waiting room turned to look at Elphaba and Yero with a puzzled look. "What? Mind your own business!" Fiyero said to all the people.

They all turned their heads haughtily from the two as Elphaba explained quietly. Dorothy, who was in the office with Toto, didn't hear Fiyero say under his breath, "Damn little girl."

"Don't I know it." Elphaba sighed as she folded his arms and cuddled against Fiyero.

"Her Aunt and Uncle know where she is, right?" Fiyero asked.

"Of course. We have to drop her by her house after we pick up the prescription." Just then, Dorothy, dog and all, walked out of the office. "Ready to go?" Elphaba asked.

"Yep!" Dorothy said as she put Toto on the ground.

"Let's go."

**Skip some more.**

"Elphaba, I am bored." Fiyero said once again. They had eaten dinner, and now Elphaba was reading on her couch, while Fiyero sat unentertained on his.

"That's nice." Elphaba commented, inattentive.

"I am bored though." Fiyero whined. Elphaba slammed down her book.

"What do you want to do then?" Elphaba said madly.

"I don't know…I was thinking we could-."

"No sex." Elphaba interrupted. She knew Fiyero too well.

"Why not?" Fiyero complained.

"One, you are acting like a two year old, two, we have done it every day this week, and three, I am not in the mood, okay?"

Fiyero was bummed. Quietly, Fiyero said, "That doesn't mean we can't-!"

"NO!" Elphaba continued reading.

Fiyero sat quietly for a moment. He couldn't stand it. "Are you sure?"

"YES!!!" Elphaba once more looked angrily at him from over 'Gone with the Wind.' Elphie paused, then said with a vision, "I know! I rented a couple of movies! How bout we watch those?"

"What are movies?" Fiyero asked.

"It's a long story. They are like plays, but the people on stage can't see or hear you." Elphaba answered, getting up to get the movies.

"That's stupid. Why not just go to a play?" Fiyero asked. "Besides, I never was one for cinema."

"This is better. I think you'll like it. Here, put this in, and I will make some popcorn."

A few minutes later, Elphaba came out with a full thing of popcorn, shocked to see what she did. Fiyero was drooling over the screen, which contained a woman in a bar, flashing the camera. Elphaba ran to the TV and turned it off.

"WHAT IN HELL WAS THAT?" Bellowed Elphaba.

"Hey, I was watching that." Fiyero said meekly, still on the edge of the couch.

"I asked you what it was!" Elphaba yelled.

"It was the movie you got! I have to admit, you're right. I liked that wayyy better than any play I've ever been to." Elphaba shot him a look that could kill as she walked to the couch, and put her hands on her hips. "What?" Fiyero asked quietly, containing his continuous five-year-old innocence.

"We aren't watching that. Here, put this on." She handed him the Rent movie.

AFTER WATCHING RENT…(Any of the views below expressed by Elphie or Yero aren't necessarily mine. So shut up.) "Okayy…" Elphaba said as the credits rolled. Fiyero looked at her. "What?" Elphaba looked back at him. "That movie was completely pointless." "Are you kidding? I loved it! Besides, you are the one who picked it out." Fiyero defended. "Well, the movie was good, but that Maureen girl? One: Bad singer; two: bad actor, three: why? She was completely hallucinating. Why did that Mark guy and Joanne even like her? She was unattractive, rude, mean, over attentive. I hated her!" Elphaba exclaimed. Fiyero opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but immediately closed it. " What?" 

"Nothing! What do you mean, what?" Fiyero said, looking down to avoid Elphaba's eyes.

"You were going to say something about Maureen! Don't tell me you liked her!"

Fiyero continued looking down as he fiddled with his hair. "I may have. She was kinda… cute. And to tell the truth…never mind."

"What?" Elphaba knew what ever he was going to say was going to be good.

"I think you guys looked a little alike." Fiyero said.

"Don't be delusional. Come on; let's go to bed." And with that, they both went up the stairs.

YEP, THAT'S RIGHT. THERE IS MORE TO THE CHAPTER. DEAL WITH IT.

Elphaba reached out to her side as she woke. Fiyero was up. She squinted at the alarm clock. What was he doing up at 2:30 in the morning? She thought he may have been in the bathroom, but she heard a ruckus down stairs. And so she went.

"Yero? Oh Yero? What are you doing?"

Fiyero turned to look at her as he sat on the couch. "Ah!" He yelled, as he stood to cover the TV. He had been watching 'Girls gone wild' again.

"What are you doing?" Elphaba repeated as she jumped off the last stair and entered the living room. "Why were you watching that?"

Fiyero fumbled over his words as he spoke. "Oh, I was- Um, I just was-"

"Watching something I told you not to! Fiyero, you know how I feel about stuff like this!" She grabbed the remote and clicked off the TV.

"I know but-!"

"No butts! Especially those ones!" Elphaba said as she motioned toward the TV.

"I am sorry-!"

"No you're not!" Elphaba was not longer sympathetic towards him. "Do you know what that tells me when you do stuff like that? It makes it seem like I alone am not good enough for you! It makes me feel like you need more-!"

"No it doesn't! I have actually been feeling the same way toward you! Hear me out!" Fiyero yelled back.

"If you been feeling like that, why did you do this?" Elphaba didn't feel like yelling. She felt horrible.

Fiyero once again searched for words. "I am a guy! And guys are different in that way! You don't think I didn't look at stuff like this BEFORE I married you!"

Elphaba could feel tears in her eyes. "Oh yeah. Don't think Glinda didn't tell me what you guys did before I came along! That doesn't help me! When we're together, I feel insuperior to you because I know that you… you've done other things- with other people before. I haven't done hardly anything with anyone…"

"Wait, _hardly_?" Fiyero asked.

Elphaba didn't mean to say this, as she had been virgin before Fiyero. That didn't mean she couldn't use it to her advantage. "Yeah, _hardly_. Avaric? Yeah, he was a little drunk, so was I sooo… that led to stuff! Oh, and don't forget Boq! You be surprised how much Boq WORSHIPS green! You should have heard him. I think that I may have made it his new favorite color!!!" Elphaba shouted.

"Oh yeah!? Well- well… wait, you and Boq did-!"

Elphaba was enjoying the hint of green in Fiyero cheeks. "Ohhhh Yeah! Boq and I! We DEFINITELY HAD OUR RON-DAY-VOOS! AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!! And let me tell you something else! Boq was WAY better than you're EVER GOING TO BE!" Elphaba enjoyed Fiyero's rage at the last comment, and added, "OH YEAH, DON'T FORGET THAT _HE WAS WAYYY! BIGGER THAN YOU!_" This is where Fiyero drew his final straw. He _humpffed_ rather gaily, and started preparing himself a place on the couch. "What are you doing?" Elphaba panted. She was out of breath from yelling.

"I am sleeping on the couch." Fiyero said quietly. He plopped down and ignored Elphaba's confused gaze.

"What are you doing that for?" Elphaba asked, walking closer to the couch.

"I am sleeping here till you apologize. So there." He clapped his hands, which turned off the lights.

Elphaba didn't know what to do. "Fiyero-!"

"Nope."

"Fiy-!"

"I am not listening!" Fiyero stuck his fingers in his ears.

"I am just trying to explain." Fiyero quieted. "I was just trying to make you know how it feels. I never did Shiz with Boq and Avaric! I swear you were my first. And until you and I die, you will be my last. I love you Yero. I just don't think you should watch stuff like that. I don't know, I thought I had a say in that, but I guess not. But if you really love me, you'll not watch that kind of stuff. I hope you understand." She kissed him on the cheek and went up stairs, figuring that he had already fallen asleep. But truly, Fiyero was still awake, and stayed that way for the rest of the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: **

**Fellow Fanfictians;**

_**Let us be glad,**_

_**Let us be grateful,**_

_**Let us rejoicify that Shiloh is so cool,**_

_**That she posted another chapter before going to camp!**_

_**Isn't it nice to know?**_

_**That Zarri doesn't own Wicked?**_

_**And that I am cool enough to write this song?**_

_**Is that so wrong?**_

_**And I don't know the rest of this-**_

**Random Shiloh story reader that interrupts Shiloh in the middle of her reasonably good Kristen Chenoweth impression: Shiloh; is it true that you are going to camp?**

**Shiloh: Well, there has been much rumor and specu- actually, I just told you this, so there hasn't been any rumor or speculation, or innuendo or outuendo. According to my calendar, yes. From the 30****th**** to the 5****th****, I am going to be gone at camp, by direct result of the Mormon Church! It is true, Shiloh is going to camp! **

**Fanfictians: Hoor!-ray?**

**Enjoy this chapter while it lasts!**

**Shiloh **

**P.S. Yes, I know the song doesn't work.**

RING! _Dammnit_, Fiyero thought as he groped for the phone on the inn table beside him, his head not leaving the pillow. He eventually brushed it off the table, resulting with a THUMP! on the ground. _Double dammnit_. He thought as he got the strength to lift his head off the pillow, and get the phone off the ground. Fiyero cringed as his hand flew to the back of his neck. Sleeping on a couch really did things to his neck. Meanwhile, the phone rang repeatedly, reminding him of a similar next-door neighbor. He pressed the talk button, and brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Fiyero said groggily to the phone.

"Hello!" piped a rather disgustingly familiar voice from the other end. "This is Emily Gale, from next store."

Fiyero was too tired to speak. "Huh." He grunted blearily to the mouthpiece.

"I just called to let you know that Dorothy is staying home from school today on account of the snow; Henry and I ain't going to make her walk in weather as this."

"It isn't 'ain't'. It's aren't." Fiyero said. This sorely reminded him of Elphaba, as he had become used to using proper grammar because of her. Now he was correcting people! What a world. " And there's snow?"

"Yep, Snow.

"Snow?"

"That's what I said, 'snow.'

Fiyero looked out the window. "Oh. Snow."

"Yep. Snow." Emily squeaked from the opposite line. "Anyway, thanks."

"Ah-hm. Bye." And with that; Fiyero fell straight back to sleep.

"Stop it." Fiyero said in his sleep. He was having a dream that Elphaba was shooting pillows at him from her broomstick. He woke up to find that wasn't far off. Elphaba sat lazily on the other couch, flinging pillows at him.

"Hey- Hey! Stop!" He said as he woke up. "I'm awake- STOP!"

Elphaba poorly suppressed a wicked smile. "I just was trying to wake you up. Gosh."

"You don't have to throw pillows at me!"

Elphaba's face became solemn. "Oz. You don't have to get all defensive. I guess lately it hasn't been to hard for you-…huh?"

Fiyero gave a monotonous look. "If you are still mad about last night-!"

"Yeah! Yeah I am, Fiyero." Elphaba said turning angrily from him.

Fiyero gave a jerk. Her tone alone made him shiver. "I was just going to say that if you are angry from last night, so am I, so get over yourself, Elphaba."

He heard a small whimper from her, but yet she didn't cry. Though he couldn't see her, he knew that something like that wouldn't make her cry. Fiyero changed the subject.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked as he covered him self with his blanket.

"I don't know." Elphaba said, still looking at the opposite wall.

Fiyero was confusifyed. "You should know. You're making it."

Elphaba angrily got up. "I don't know, because I'm not MAKING IT!"

"Wait stop!" Fiyero forbid. Elphaba stopped, waiting for apology. "You have to make me breakfast. It's your job."

"ARRRGH!!!!" Elphaba turned around, grabbed a pillow off the ground, and chucked it at him. And for the first time, he saw his wife, Elphaba-- cry.

(A/N: Oh, BTW, This is Fiyero's day off. K?)

Fiyero sat on the couch, doing what he wanted. Eating chips, drinking beer, and watching 'Girls Gone Wild.' He munched down on the potatoey goodness before him as he thought, _Woo! That Jessica is a keeper. _He took a chug of budlight, as Elphaba angrily stomped into the room, as she had been doing off and on all day.

"Are you ready to go?" Elphaba said as she placed her angry hands on her angry hips. Her angry face looked at Fiyero with angry and impatient eyes, and she was dressed angrily in warm, angry clothes.

"What?" Fiyero gulped with his beer.

"I said 'are you ready to go?'"

Fiyero sputtered over his words. "Go where?" He drew his beer to his lips and attention to the TV. There went another girl, flashing her-

"FIYERO!!! Did you _even_ hear me?" Elphaba asked.

"What?" Fiyero said, half his attention on his angry wife, and half on that girl, now display a whole lot of-

"SHIT! Fiyero, listen to me!" Elphaba yelled. "I told you three times now that we need to go to the doctors! You told me you would take me, remember?"

Fiyero did his best to draw his attention away from the television. "Oh yeah. Yeah—Oo, Jessica!"

Elphaba impatiently did a dry sob. "FIYERO! Knock it o—oh, screw it!" With that, Elphaba kicked the TV, and it fell to the ground, luckily causing no breakafiying, but still unplugging the tube.

"Oz, okay, let's go…"

SEVERAL SILENT, AWKWARD HOURS LATER

"Mrs. Tiggular?" Doctor Mox poked his head questioningly in to the room.

"Yes?" Elphaba called from her metal table.

The doctor sighed. "Well Elphaba, before I tell you what is wrong with you, I need your husband in the room."

"Alright. Fiyero is just outside in the waiting room." Elphaba answered with a greatly concerned feeling. If Fiyero had to come in there, something was wrong. The doctor poked his head outside the door and quietly beckoned for Fiyero. Seconds following, Fiyero rushed into the room.

"Yes?" He asked as his voice popped and cracked. It seemed several octaves higher than usual, as his hands flew in his pockets nervously. "I mean, (hem, hem), Yes?" he said in a much lower voice.

"Well, wait, you might want to sit down. Here-!" The doctor kindly directed Fiyero to a chair in the corner. "Anyway," the doctor continued. "As you both know, Elphaba has been sick for several days now with what may seem like an average stomach flu. I have been kind enough to volunteer to tell you,- Mrs. Tiggular- I am sorry." Elphaba's heart beat at an unusually fast pace. What was wrong? What was it? Cancer? T.B? The possibilities seemed to make her heart flutter lightly in to her stomach, and then up in to her throat, where it lodged it self. "I am sorry Mrs. Tiggular that in nine months, you will no longer be able to sleep." The doctor's face erupted in to a smile- "Because you're going to have a baby!"

Fiyero shot up in shock. The chair did no good, as directly afterwards, he fainted.

After treating Fiyero, and giving Elphaba the down low, they released the two. Fiyero took Elphaba lovingly by the arm as he directed her carefully through the snow.

_Snow, _Fiyero thought as he smiled back at Elphaba_. Snow –representing a new beginning. _

_Snow- representing a new life._

_Snow- signifying the rest of Elphaba and mine's life._

_Snow- representing our marriage. Even when it melts, it always comes back._

_--_

_Sno-ah, to hell with snow! Make up sex tonight! Woo!_

--

**TBC**

**See ya on the sixth!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Yargh; this be my last chapter. Just so ya know. I hope to finish 'Those were the years' and then take a break from writing for a while. I did have another story that I was going to write that was Galinda based, but I think that I'll give the plot bunny to my friend Anglefire13; she ought to enjoy it. I am going to try to catch up on my typing the next few days…it is hard to let go of this story; I really liked writing it. But I promised Lazielindsay, (who changed her name;) that I wouldn't make this really all that long.**

**So there you go. Enjoy my last chapter!**

Disclaimer: I thought I have made it clear by now that my name is SHILOH! Not Gregory. Sorry that I can't come up with a more original disclaimer! SO sue me. You won't get much out of it anyway. And Joanne Jefferson is my lawyer. So you'll lose.

**Flamethrower: Go ahead flame me! See if I care!** (Sings_) Come on baby light my fire…try to set my night on fire!_ (Goes flat) **Liked it? I got more**! (Sings) _Hit me with you best shot! Why don't you hit me with your best shot? Fire away!_ **Oo… or since I am a huge Lion King fan**: I laugh in the face of flames! Mwahahaha! (Get hit in the head with zooming amounts of flames) **But serious you guys: Flames make me laugh. Hard. You add to my pleasure when I get something like: **_Go suck it, you retard, as you obviously waste time anyway with stuff you won't far with!_

**Try me. **

**B-I-T-C-H Disclaimer: Sorry if I seem mean in the long author's note. I feel extra bitchy tonight.**

**ENJOY, (and sorry for the extremely long author's note!)**

**Shiloh**

Elphaba danced with dishtowel in hand. Today was her last day with Dorothy. She realized she had to get the dishes done before the sister killer came, and quickly scrubbed the previous nights' spaghetti off of a plate. Fiyero entered the kitchen, briefcase in hand. He gently pecked her cheek as she whistled a small tune.

"Someone is happy today." Fiyero said as he dished himself up a plate of food from the stove.

"Hm-hm. Guess who is never going to darken our doorstep with her slimy presence again after today?" Elphaba said, biting her lip with a smile.

Fiyero choked over his milk. "It's Saturday already? That was fast."

"Not for me! Free at last, free at last! Thank Oz almighty; we are free at last!" Elphaba throwing her arms up in the air.

Fiyero scowled with caution. " I am glad to see you are happy, Elphie, but careful with the-,"

"I know, I know- the baby. Really Fiyero, you are taking the pregnant thing _wayyyy _too far-!"

"I am only looking out for you and the baby's safety!" Fiyero said with a pleading voice. "Just try to be careful." He looked down at his watch and did a small jump. "I am going to be late. Bye." He once more pecked her on the cheek and began running out the kitchen, until the phone rang. "No, you do dishes, I'll get it."

He picked it up. "Hello?" After a moment on the phone, he went pale. "Uh-huh. All right…Thanks anyway. Bye."

"Who was that?" Elphaba asked as he set down the phone.

"My boss." He said with a hiccup of shock.

Fiyero could've swore that Elphaba flashed green for a second. "What did he want? Fiyero? Don't tell me that you're-!"

"Yes. I am fired." Fiyero said, becoming whiter as she became greener.

Fiyero expected Elphaba to explode with yelling, but she remained silent as she turned toward the sink and sighed. "I hope you remember that today is the fourteenth." Fiyero bit his lip; Elphaba knew he was trying not to cry. "How are we going to pay?"

Fiyero had a very urging feeling to sing a song from Rent; but refrained; there were other matters on hand. "Let's just pray for a miracle. We have the money that the Gales paid us for Dorothy."

"No, we don't. I spent it all trying to get her to shut the hell up. We have about Four hundred of it left, and we need a bit more than that."

Fiyero pounded the bar with his fist. "Dammnit."

Elphaba didn't know what made her do it, but she slid down and sat on the tile of the kitchen floor. "You're right; all we can hope for is a miracle."

"Dorothy; please stop!" The wretched little brat was having a horrible temper tantrum. How long did it take to put down a house?

"No! I WANT ICE CREAM!!" Dorothy screamed for the millionth time.

Elphaba sighed. "I already told you that Fiye- Mr. Tiggular went to get some and he is going as fast as he can to-!"

"I WANT IT NOW!!!" Dorothy said. "YOU KNOW WHAT? You're worse than the wicked Witch of the West! She NEVER gave me ice cream either!"

Elphaba was tired of hearing about this. She had left Oz with the intension of never hearing about it again. "I am sorry! Fiyero is going as fast as he can-!"

"Know what they should call you? The Wicked Bitch of the central United States!"

Elphaba, slightly appalled at the young girl's language ignored the rather bad insult. "Dorothy! Five year olds do not use that type of language! I am going to have to tell your Auntie Em!"

"I am not five. I am twelve. And if you tell Auntie Em that, I'll- I'll- Tell her that you hit me!"

"What? That makes no sense. Dorothy, Fiyero is getting the ice cream as soon as possible."

"I want it right now!" Dorothy screamed. "You know, if Glinda the good where here, she'd help me!"

Elphaba didn't know how it happened. It just did. An explosion of words burst through her mouth. "YOU KNOW WHAT? GLINDA THE GOOD WOULD DO SHIT FOR YOU!! YOU FEFFING SPOILED LITTLE BRAT! NOW I WISH THAT I HAD KILLED YOU IN KIAMO KO! THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR BULL SHIT RIGHT NOW!! OH THAT'S RIGHT YOU LITTLE SPOILED PIG, I AM THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!! YOU AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT DOG NEVER KILLED ME!!! WHAT? DID YOU THINK THAT YOU KILLED THE WICKED WITCH OF WEST? I DIDN'T THINK SO!!!!"

Elphaba panted. That was the loudest she had ever screamed in her whole entire life. Dorothy sat with mouth wide open, just staring at Elphaba. She wondered if Dorothy had even heard her. She prayed to God that she hadn't. Maybe, Dorothy had spaced out for a couple of seconds. Maybe Dorothy had just woken up from a long space out, or something. Maybe Dorothy had heard her, and that is why she was now running as fast as possible to the door. Maybe Dorothy had heard it, and that is why she was now running as fast as possible to her Aunt and Uncle's house with Elphaba chasing her. Maybe that is why Dorothy reached them, and didn't see above head a large, shadow of a house, about to be dropped on the lot below. Maybe that is why the man operating the crane didn't she the child, trying to tell her Auntie Em that their next door neighbor was really the Wicked witch of the West. Elphaba waved her arms, ran toward Dorothy, did every thing she could. Even Auntie Em waved her arms immensely to stop the operation. To stop Dorothy, to stop the crane man, to stop anybody that could save the stupid, stupid child.

But it was too late. The house dropped, and that was the end of the 'wretched little farm girl.'


End file.
